Oh, So You Drink Moscato Huh???

You think you're classy huh cuz you stepped up from White Zinfandel?  Oh, you STILL drink White Zinfandel huh? And Pink Moscato....don't get me started! Well let me tell you the first thing your waiter thinks when you order that with your chicken, fish, nachos, or any meal for that matter: N*GGER!!  

Oh, so you think cuz Drake mentioned it in his songs you're on to some new hip sh*t?  Well look at the source!  Moscato is a DESSERT wine...DESSERT! I know you like your wine sweet.  I get it.  I used to like it sweet too.  But then I turned 21 and grew up and learned to appreciate wines not meant for DESSERT!!  When clubs dedicate a night to Moscato you know you're barking up the wrong tree. 

Here's a suggestion.  Try Riesling.  It's white, it's semi-sweet, and it's respectable.  Imagine it being the kind of white girl you want to introduce to your mama! 

This:

Not This:

So for the sake of all things holy, Please PLEASE stop ordering Moscato.  You're doing yourself an injustice and giving Drake move relevance than required.  Also, real wine drinkers are laughing at you.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.