Happy New Year

Work The Poll

A poll is just a snapshot.....

...Of the entire picture

                                                                                        Getty Images

The place were "20/20" segments are turned into shows!

Roll With Me

There is something inherently cool about a person who can dance in roller skates* !
*Unless it was in the movie "Roll Bounce* "
        * I have never seen "Roll Bounce" not because I think roller skating dancers are not cool but strictly because the movie starred Bow Wow

You have no soul is this doesn't make you smile!

Someone Please Call 9-1-1

Has anyone REALLY been arrested for stealing a shopping cart??


How else could the homeless race??

My Endless Love

Children's Shows Greatest Gay Couples

Ren and Stimpy



Bert and Ernie


Tigger and Eeyore


Spongebob and Patrick


Bugs and Elmer


Stewie and Rupert



Peppermint Patty and Marcie



Who else am I missing?

I'm With Stupid

Planking: Out

Tebowing: In

courtesy of www.tebowing.com

Hope for Humanity : Squandered

"Say there ain't no hope for the youth and the truth is it ain't no hope for tha future. And then they wonder why we crazy..."

Jig-A-Boo

So no one wants to mention the black elephant in the room??
New Toy called Sing-A-Ma-Jigs
(available at your local toy store)

Anything look familiar??


God Bless Racism!

Mr. 2011

Herman Cain

Simply for being the epitome of why they should've "never gave that n***a money".  You were the bastard son of George W. Bush and Mike Tyson and I will miss you dearly!!

A walk down memory lane...

1. The Libya brain freeze

Quote: "OK, Libya. [pause] President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gadhafi. I just wanted to make sure we're talking about the same thing before I say, 'Yes, I agreed' or 'No I didn't agree.' I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — nope, that's a different one. [pause] I gotta go back and see. I got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me that I agree or not disagree with Obama?" (Nov. 14, in response to a question from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel editorial board)

 2. The off-topic response

 Quote: "9-9-9." (Nov. 14, evading a question from NBC's Andrew Rafferty over whether Cain's "Libya gaffe builds on the idea he doesn't have in-depth knowledge of foreign policy")

3. The anti-intellectual rhyme

 Quote: "We need a leader, not a reader." (Nov. 17, campaign stop in Nashua, New Hampshire)

 4. The imagined language

Quote: "How do you say 'delicious' in Cuban?" (Nov. 16, campaign stop in Miami's "Little Havana" neighborhood)

 5. The ice cream pejorative

Quote: "Michele Bachmann... I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.... Tutti-frutti. I know I’m going to get in trouble!" (Mid-October, responding to a GQ writer's request that he liken his rivals to ice-cream flavors)

 6. The Pokémon poet

Quote: "A poet once said, 'Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it's never easy when there's so much on the line.'" (Aug. 11 Republican debate) 

7. The "sissy pizza"

Quote: "The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is…. Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance.... A manly man don't want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza." (Mid-October GQ interview)

8. The royal Pelosi insult

 Quote: "We didn't hear about it in the previous Congress because Princess Nancy sent to it committee and it stayed there." (Nov. 9 Republican debate, referencing a bill to repeal the Affordable Care Act)

9. The mangled nation

 Quote: "I'm ready for the 'gotcha' questions and they're already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. Do you know? And then I'm going to say, 'How's that going to create one job?'" (Oct. 7 interview withCBN News' David Brody)

Here's to hoping 2012 brings us: 

"Fox News Presents "All Aboard the Cain Train"

Christmas Time is Here

There is something about this song that makes me think of sad orphans looking forlorn staring outside of a window at the North Star wishing this is the year Santa finally comes to bring them presents.  I guess A Charlie Brown Christmas didn't help either...

Snaps for the Kids

Fellas Fellas Fellas....Say "NO" to the clear nail polish!

You may think you'll feel like this...


But you really look like this...



Or this...

Let's Take It Back...

...To one of the greatest shows and worst host to ever grace your boob tube! I miss this show.  Let's bring the gutter back!


And who authorized International P's street cred??

Did I Do That??

Now while I do not agree with the message of this picture, the Photoshop was too funny to ignore!  I see a Halloween costume in the making!

I Know Why the Caged Turtledove Sings

I've sung the song since I was a child but never understood when and why Christmas turned into Hanukkah with its "12 Days" of celebration.  And on what planet is a child's first gift on it's list a Partridge in a Pear Tree?? Thank goodness for Snopes!

"What we do know is that the twelve days of Christmas in the song are the twelve days between the birth of Christ (Christmas, December 25) and the coming of the Magi (Epiphany, January 6). Although the specific origins of the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" are not known, it possibly began as a Twelfth Night "memory-and-forfeits" game in which the leader recited a verse, each of the players repeated the verse, the leader added another verse, and so on until one of the players made a mistake, with the player who erred having to pay a penalty, such as a offering up a kiss or a sweet. This is how the song was presented in its earliest known printed version, in the 1780 children's book Mirth Without Mischief. (The song is apparently much older than this printed version, but we do not currently know how much older.) Textual evidence indicates that the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" was not English in origin, but French. Three French versions of the song are known, and items mentioned in the song itself (the partridge, for example, which was not introduced to England from France until the late 1770s) are indicative of a French origin.

It is possible that "The Twelve Days of Christmas" has been confused with (or is a transformation of) a song called "A New Dial" (also known as "In Those Twelve Days"), which dates to at least 1625 and assigns religious meanings to each of the twelve days of Christmas (but not for the purposes of teaching a catechism). In a manner somewhat similar to the memory-and-forfeits performance of "The Twelve Days of Christmas," the song "A New Dial" was recited in a question-and-answer format:

What are they that are but one? We have one God alone In heaven above sits on His throne. What are they which are but two? Two testaments, the old and new, We do acknowledge to be true. What are they which are but three? Three persons in the Trinity Which make one God in unity. What are they which are but four Four sweet Evangelists there are, Christ's birth, life, death which do declare. What are they which are but five? Five senses, like five kings, maintain In every man a several reign. What are they which are but six? Six days to labor is not wrong, For God himself did work so long.

What are they which are but seven? Seven liberal arts hath God sent down With divine skill man's soul to crown. What are they which are but eight? Eight Beatitudes are there given Use them right and go to heaven. What are they which are but nine? Nine Muses, like the heaven's nine spheres, With sacred tunes entice our ears. What are they which are but ten? Ten statutes God to Moses gave Which, kept or broke, do spill or save. What are they which are but eleven? Eleven thousand virgins did partake And suffered death for Jesus' sake. What are they which are but twelve? Twelve are attending on God's son; Twelve make our creed. The Dial's done.

(Using ordinary objects to represent biblical concepts is a common device, as exemplified by the several popular recordings of Deck of Cards.)

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" is what most people take it to be: a secular song that celebrates the Christmas season with imagery of gifts and dancing and music. Some misinterpretations have crept into the English version over the years, though. For example, the fourth day's gift is four "colly birds" (or "collie birds"), not four "calling birds." (The word "colly" literally means "black as coal," and thus "colly birds" would be blackbirds.) The "five golden rings" refers not to five pieces of jewelry, but to five ring-necked birds (such as pheasants). When these errors are corrected, the pattern of the first seven gifts' all being types of birds is re-established.

Nonetheless, plenty of writers continue to expound upon "the beauty and truly biblical and spiritual meanings locked away in this wonderful song that puts Christ into Christmas where he doesn't appear to be." Perhaps those who consider this tale to be "beautiful" and "inspirational" (despite its obviously dubious truthfulness) should consider its underlying message: That one group of Jesus' followers had to hide their beliefs in order to avoid being tortured and killed by another group of Jesus' followers. Of all the aspects of Christianity to celebrate at Christmastime, that doesn't sound like a particularly good one to emphasize."

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/music/12days.asp

Invented People

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich called the Palestinian people "Invented".

”The fact is, the Palestinian claim to a right of return is based on a historically false story,” Gingrich said. " 'Palestinian’ did not become a common term until after 1977. This is a propaganda war in which our side refuses to engage and we refuse to tell the truth when the other side lies.”

What would he consider Americans then??

Ice Ice Baby

Is Disney On Ice considered "making it" in terms of Professional ice skating?  Is is a respectable tier if you can't make it to this level...

but thrive here??

Heaux are winning

It's a good thing the NBA lockout ended. God forbid these "Basketball Wives" and side pieces have to go out and WORK for a living!

In Case of Emergency

Ohio Landlord Defends Her Decision to Put Up ‘Whites Only’ Sign Outside Pool Because Black Girl ‘Used Chemicals in Her Hair That Would Make the Water Cloudy’

DM – A landlord who discriminated against a black girl by posting a ‘White Only’ sign at a swimming pool wants a state civil rights commission to reconsider its decision. The Ohio Civil Rights Commission found on September 29 that Jamie Hein, who’s white, violated the Ohio Civil Rights Act by posting the sign at a pool at the duplex where the teenage girl was visiting her parents. The commission said: ‘The parents filed a discrimination charge with the commission and moved out of the duplex in the racially diverse city to ‘avoid subjecting their family to further humiliating treatment’. An investigation revealed that Ms Hein in May posted on the gated entrance to the pool an iron sign that stated ‘Public Swimming Pool, White Only,’ the commission statement said. Several witnesses confirmed that the sign was posted, and the landlord indicated that she posted it because the girl used chemicals in her hair that would make the pool ‘cloudy,’ according to the commission. Ms Hein, of Cincinnati, hung up when The Associated Press called her for comment Tuesday. A message was left at her lawyer’s office. The commission’s statement said that its investigation concluded that the posting of such a sign ‘restricts the social interaction between Caucasians and African-Americans and reinforces discriminatory actions aimed at oppressing people of color.’

What I love is that she had easy access to the sign.  Like she kept the sign in an In Case of Emergency box and once she saw that girl she pounded the table, stoop up, adjusted her Mu Mu and pronounced "Get my hammer. Today is the day!"      

Zero Respect

The Letter 'O' is not a number

You Can't Do That On Television

"N*gga/N*gger" and "sh*t" is now allowed on TV but "F*ggot" and "retarded" are censored. It's a wonder they let Jersey Shore stay on air considering its a show about a group of retar.......



For Nostalgia sake:

Throw 'E' 'D' on that B*tch

Is Mitt Romney poised to become a verb like "Munsoned" if he doesn't win the Republican nomination?

It's Curtains

Why do some white people not believe in the use of curtains and some black people believe that bed sheets can be used AS curtains??

They Dont Die, They Multiply

Tommy Pickles was a BeBe kid. Shirt too small, a full loose diaper, no shoes, bow-legged and pigeon-toed, kept a "just in case" screwdriver handy, and he had a crew.

Twizzlers....the poor man's Red Vines.
Black Licorice....the poor man's default!

A Boondocks episode in the making!

All you need is Riely as the boss and Huey trying to shut them down!!

Tower Defense and Aerospace Factory Workers Party at Lunch

awwww racism.....It never wears out its welcome!

Baby Baby Baby

If you are over the age of 10 you are not allowed to slick down your baby hair!  Hence the name...baby hair!!

NO NO and NO!

Come again???

Remember how you acted the first time you pronounced this company's name?

I know I am not the only one who had a Beavis and Butthead moment!!

Here Kitty Kitty

Why did ALF eat cats?  He was an alien so I assume there were no cats on his home planet. Were cats the closet equivalent to his home planet's delicacy and how many animals (or people) did he try before he discovered cats were the right choice? Maybe THAT's what happened to Judy Winslow!

Second-Hand News

There is nothing worse than listening to misinformed people discuss serious world issues, or any issues at all.  You don't know whether it would do any good to interrupt them to say "YOU ARE SO WRONG!" Its just painful and reminds me of this...

Is it wrong to smoke weed while watching Celebrity Rehab??

Wanted

      Conservative Atheist

Can the two ideologies exist in one person without their head exploding??

Un-Be-Weavable

Miss Piggy...The innovator of the "Lace Front*"

*A Lace front wig is a wig that looks like the hair is growing out of your head. A full lace wig is one that can be parted anywhere on the head and the hair looks like it's growing out of your scalp. 


The Clientele

Bass Ackwards

Why will a parent give their child all the fruit snacks in the world but draw the line at gummy bears? They're almost identical!  No wonder the little guy is so bitter.  I blame "The Man"!

The Dotted Line

When did cell phone contracts become harder to get out of than marriages? You mean to tell me Kim Kardashian can get a divorce after 72 days but I'm stuck with AT&T for 2 years?? NOT FAIR!!

That's not Gangsta

Can you imagine The Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight" dropping now?? I've heard Christian rap that goes harder than that! Should they at least get credit for saying "Bang bang"??

Note to Self....

When being hit on, never give a fake name while wearing a name tag!

His Name is Robert Paulson

When did the Occupy Movement start to resemble "Fight Club"'s Project Mayhem?? Where is Tyler Durden when you need him?

It's A Hard Knock Life

I'd kill to have the problems of a three-year old right now.  Their only important life choices are playtime, snack-time and nap-time!

You ever see a couple walking down the street and wonder A) how they met and B) pray they don't procreate??

The Odd Couple

Why were Marty and Doc hanging out in the first place? It's not like Marty seemed like the science type?

Thing-a-ma-jig

Auto Zone should have a "Girl" button. When pressed, a trained expert would appear to decipher the "whatchamacallit" and "doohickey" that lady is looking for!! In the end, everyone wins...frustrated but winning!!

I wish someone would remind me to remember so that I wouldn't forget!!

Seperated At Birth??

Doesn't GOP Presidential Candidate, Jon Huntsman, resemble the actor, Christoper McDonald, who always played "That Douchey Guy" in all those 1990's movies??


Former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman

Christopher McDonald


Huh?  Huh??

Jesus H. Christ

I am not the only guilty party who's said it.  But have you ever wondered what in the H does the H stand for??  I did some research (God BLESS Wikipedia HA!) and this is what I discovered from multiple (unverified) sources:
From http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-jes1.htm
-  There have been various theories, but the one that seems most plausible is that it comes from the Greek monogram for Jesus, IHS or IHC. This is formed from the first two letters plus the last letter of His name in Greek (the letters iota, eta, and sigma; in the second instance, the C is a Byzantine Greek form of sigma). The H is actually the capital letter form of eta, but churchgoers who were unfamiliar with Greek took it to be a Latin H.

The oath does indeed seem to be American, first recorded in print at the end of the nineteenth century, although around 1910 Mark Twain wrote in his Autobiographythat the expression had been in use about 1850 and was considered old even then. Its long survival must have a lot to do with its cadence, and the way that an especially strong emphasis can be placed on the H.

Nineteenth-century Americans weren’t the first to take the Greek letters to be Latin ones — since medieval times the monogram has often been expanded into Latin phrases, such as Iesus Hominum Salvator, Jesus Saviour of Men, In Hoc Signo (vinces), in this sign (thou shalt conquer), and In Hac Salus, in this (cross) is salvation.

Wikipedia states all this and adds that it may (and I use may loosely) stand for Hallowed or Harold (which was a mispronunciation of Hallowed).

It's HILARIOUS people think Jesus had a middle name!!!

A Consequence of Having Manners

There's nothing worse than getting splashed with toilet water during a courtesy flush

The 'L' is Silent

It's pronounced sam-mon DAMN IT not SAL-mon!!

Yuck!

Which is grimier...your belt buckle or the bathroom stall door lock??

"It ain't trickin if you got it"....Yes it is!

C.U.P.(Creative Under Pressure)

Whoever discovered placing a plastic bag over a demagnetized credit card is a GENIUS!

Up Against the Wall used to make me feel hip. Now it just makes me feel old. Can someone PLEASE turn the music down...please?

V.P.

Seriously...what does Joe Biden do?

Where Could He Possibly Be Going Looking Like This So Early In The Morning??

Ones

Why do people insist on pluralizing one?