You Know You're Getting Old When....

....a gift to yourself is a mattress or new tires!!!

Just three more payments and you're all mine.

They're Magically Delicious

I know I wasn't the only kid who got in trouble for picking out all the marshmallows from a box of Lucky Charms?


Your punishment was having to finish the rest of the cereal, all 100% whole grain. Who wants to eat whole grain stars or balloons??




* Bonus points if you pissed mom off by doing the same to her Raisin Bran. Sugar coated raisins??  What will they think of next!*

A Riddle Wrapped In a Mystery Inside an Enigma

Courtesy of TG


Why are Apple Fritters so big??  Considering the meaning of "fritter" it doesn't make much sense.


Fritter:
frit·ter1    /ˈfrɪtər/ Show Spelled[frit-er] Show IPA
verb (used with object)
1.
to squander or disperse piecemeal; waste little by little (usually followed by away ): to fritter away one's money; to fritter away an afternoon.
2.
to break or tear into small pieces or shreds.

verb (used without object)
3.
to dwindle, shrink, degenerate, etc. (often followed by away ): to watch one's fortune fritter away.
4.
to separate or break into fragments: a plastic material having a tendency to fritter.

noun
5.
a small piece, fragment, or shred.

Origin:
1720–30; earlier fitter, derivative of fit ( Old English fitt ) a part


Actually, it's kind of fitting considering your health will fritter away after consuming one!

They Never Stood A Chance!

Puffy is to Hip Hop.....

The Good
           

The Bad


The Ugly


....What George Lucas is to Science Fiction

The Good


The Bad  



The Ugly
 


May both genres R.I.P.

 

For sh*ts and Giggles

Indiana Jones Gets Raped by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg - watch more funny videos

The risk is believing it is free!

*Spoiler Alert*

The Ending to Tyler Perry's "Good Deeds" Movie:

It says "Stop letting him make movies"







Your Baby Can Read?

Does a 1 year old really need that much text in a birthday card?


























If so, maybe they should attend this fine institution:


 "Trick Loves The Kids"

The Truth Behind Social Media

"If you're not paying for it, you're the product"

Facebook, Google+, MySpace, so on and so forth...They are not social media sites, they are ad companies.  So even though it's free, "We pay, for example, for the awesomeness ...of services by helping Google build an enormous database filled with our billions of searches and personal information."

(source:http://lifehacker.com/5697167/if-youre-not-paying-for-it-youre-the-product)

       Think about it!
                                                   

Context is a Mutha.....

Courtesy of TH

The Greatest Whitney Houston Tribute!

Rest in Peace

In Honor of Black History Month

Hot Sauce has Zero calories. Consider it a healthy snack!  Enjoy!!!!

These Are My Confessions

I am a Grocery Bag Hoarder. They are falling out from under my kitchen sink as we speak!  I am so ashamed. I can not...CAN NOT throw them away.  I'll need them in the future for make-shift trash bags and for make-shift trash bags and God there has to be another reason I keeps these things.
I will get reusable bags.  The cycle ends today.
No way I will turn into this:


or this:



The First step is admitting I have a problem.

I know it ain't just me!!

It's Valentine's Day NOT your birthday.  Be happy to receive love, not receive gifts!


Origins of Valentine's Day...how romantic
from http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day

Origins of Valentine's Day: A Pagan Festival in February

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial--which probably occurred around A.D. 270--others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to "Christianize" the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat's hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.

Valentine's Day: A Day of Romance

Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity and but was outlawed—as it was deemed “un-Christian”--at the end of the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day. It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of Valentine's Day should be a day for romance.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. (The greeting is now part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.) Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

Typical Valentine's Day Greetings

In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century. By the middle of the 18th, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings.

Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Howland, known as the “Mother of the Valentine,” made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap." Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

I'm a Big Kid, Look What I Can Do!!

This must end now! Do adults really need a onesies??

Look Familiar??


What's next? Fun with Adult Diapers??

One Bad Apple....

Thanks M.I.A.
 
Because of you next year's Super Bowl Halftime show will look like this....

Weight Watchers

Why do you say "Thank you" when someone says you lost weight as if that person is directly responsible for your weight loss??